A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.
- William Blake

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Cleaning is my soul food.

When I am stressed, worried or anxious about something and I can't do anything about it I find I turn to cleaning for solace. It's something, I guess, I picked up when I was a dish-pig. Some people say that dish washers have the worse job; and I agree, until the front of the shop is understaffed and busy as hell - ah, that's when dish washing is the most peaceful and calming place. And even the act of rinsing, scrubbing and cleaning helps to calm the mind; it's an act of purifying the dirty and unclean, washing away everything that's bad. Maybe I've been thinking about this too much, or maybe I should ease up on the 4 o'clock beers, but all I know is this: when my home is clean, when my room is clean and nothing is waiting on me, I feel most at ease.

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It's funny thinking back on how initially, when began this crazy adventure -ography, I thought I would have nothing to say. That's why I titled it a photo journal & thoughts. But these little internal monologues I have with myself that I put to paper... to keyboard, help me to process things that I am going through. Now I know why people keep diaries - so they can bitch and moan about how hard they have it... like the other day, when Matt said...*ahem* I mean, they use it to help deal with their emotions, emotions indeed.

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Okay, update on what's been happening to me and the things around me.

First off, its getting cold; and if you know me I don't get cold easily, but I am... getting cold. So cold, in fact, that the other night I woke up at 5 am to put on some pants cause it was that cold. Must be due to all the muscles that I've been developing ever since I started pumping iron like a mother, like everyday. Gotta keep up with Mong, whom I like to refer to as Mong-zilla... oh, not because of his massive muscles, oh no, cause of his face, his Godzilla like face.

I watched, the now antiquated, Garden State and all I have to say is 'meh'. Oh, I also watched Xmen 3 on sunday... 'meh' is all I have to say to that....... I tried, but I have to say a little more. I mean come on! Xmen 3: The Last Stand, pfft, more like Xmen 3: The Total Abortion of Another Comic turn Movies.... And next up on the movie watch list is the Da Vinci Code, which I also hear is 'meh'... but I'll let you know how it goes.

I've also been approached by three 40 Days of Purpose (40DP) coordinators, ooooohhh, to help manage and tame this beast of an event... damn I'm must say I'm a wanted man, and don't you forget that *licks little and pointing finger and strokes eyebrows with them* how you doin'. But I could only pick one lucky coordinator to work with, and so I chose the lucky Cassandra... but then I found out she was already married, dang it. Any who, now I am taking care of most, if not all, the promotional materials for the event; so now I am trying my bestest to get 40DP squishy stress footys and yo-yos. They would be sweet for all the times you're at church and have to listen to boring uncles tell you about how they have the latest gadget and how you should get one or when aunties tell you you need to stop harassing their kids after Sunday school.

I think that about covers it, and thats about all you need to know about me for now... BUT if there is one more thing you should know about me at this point in time, it is this: I like taking advantage of warranties on products. Take the mouse I am using for example, it is in fact the 2nd mouse NextByte have replaced for me, and the music I am listening to come from a sound card which Apple had to replace too. And today I am getting my first replacement laptop case. I also have a camera I haven't had replaced/repaired in any way yet... but soon. ah, warranties - you should never give a chinese guy or girl one.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain

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+ Victoria Gardens
+ RMIT Bowen Lane

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
- Colossians 3.23

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Soundtrack to my life... or something like that

Took me a little while to compile the soundtrack to my life, well not my entire life, like we missed out on the song I would be listening to before a fight or the song for when someone close to me passes away.

But I especially like my last song, my funeral song, it took me a long time to nut it out. Initially I had Simple Minds - Don't you forget about me, but then I struck gold! Enjoy.

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For the train ride home: Wallflowers - One Headlight

For that lonely bus ride over the border: Groove Armada - Hands of Time

For that holiday plane trip: Cibo Matto - Aguas De Marco

That special dance with that special someone: The Flamingos - I Only Have Eyes For You

When you've got that lovely love feeling: Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You

On my 50th birthday we are going to sing and dance to: Curtis Mayfield - Move On Up

On a sunny day: Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime

On a rainy day: Jamie Cullum - All at sea

That lazy sunday morning: Otis Redding - (Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay

Friday night and I feel alright: Journey - Any Way You Want It

The city walk: Lyrics Born - I changed My Mind (Stereo MC's Rattlesnake Remix)

When its time to sit down and listen: Dave Matthews Band - Jimi Thing

My study to the tune: St Germain - Sure Thing

My gym song: Fort Minor - Remember The Name

For those moments where no one is watching: Big Audio Dynamite - Rush

And when its all said and done... my funeral... we will remember as we listen to: Luciano Pavarotti - Nessun Dorma

God never said it would be easy... He just said he would go with me.
- J.G. Holland

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The soundtrack/song that would be playing in this moment of retrospect would be:
Jose González - Heartbeats

If you don't understand what I'm talking about, check out yum's website. So throw it on if you have it, and if you don't then maybe you should.

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The end of the tunnel is hard to see when you get swept up with the business and worries that life can bring. And when you get caught up by the stress, you feel like everything else falls apart too - like that magazine you made months ago that you thought you washed your hands clean of, but only to come back and bite you on the butt cause the client is finding faults in the production and copy and match schedule and everything else. The pressure can just hit you like a phone call at the end of the day - like the semi-trailer hitting the coupe in myth-busters today. It's hard not to let it get to you.

But I learnt that it's often the little things that get you by. Like someone understanding your idea for the coming Apex service; or someone pulls through for you when you need them; or someone listens to you moan and groan and really takes the time to really understand and help you; or to have a really supportive family when you need them; or just someone to snuggle on the couch with while you watch scrubs.

It took me a while, but I realised that today wasn't a bad day. I won't always be able to have all the answers to life's problems, and I won't always be ready for them, but as long as I have someone there for me I don't think I could call it a bad day.

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It is never too late to be what you might have become.
- George Eliot

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Because we cling to the past we become unavailable to the present.
- Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

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Besides the usually weekend scramble of catching up on things, which I have affectionately named: the 'doing-everything-I-wish-I-could-do-during-the-week-but-can't-because-I-don't-have-time-and-because-all-the-shops-are-closed-by-the-time-I-finish-work' mad weekend rush, we managed to get our hands on 2 tickets, cue electric guitars...

2 tickets to paradise, I've got 2 tickets to paradise. Pack your bags we'll leave tonight, I've got 2 tickets to paradise! Neoow neoow neoow neooooow neoow neoooow neoow neooooow neoow neooooow neoow neo neooooow... excellent guitaring...

We actually had 5 tickets, and though some would argue otherwise, it was not to paradise. We went to see a stand up comic by the name of Stephen K Amos. And I'll be honest... I peed my pants that night. It was okay though cause it was during dinner while we were sitting down. I had time to change into a clean pair before we went to watch Stephen K Amos. But then he made me wet my pants again - and boy howdy were they wet. He was a f'ing funny bastard, so funny that my jaw was in real pain after the show from laughter - the uncontrolable kind.

That's right, before the show we got some dinner at the Lincoln Hotel on the corner of Queensberry and Cardigan in Carlton. Dinner was sweet. It wasn't overly expensive, a little over the usual prices you get at pubs, but I really enjoyed it - just chatting whilst eating good food, telling stories, telling jokes. Had my slow cooked lamb shanks with a pint of Mountain Goat - what more could a brother ask for, know what I'm say-in jigga.

Had-a-good-weekend.

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Happiness is easy. It is letting go of unhappiness that is hard. We are willing to give up everything but our misery.
- Hugh Prather

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That magazine that I was slaving away on, well it should be out in newagents... right now, just waiting for you to spend your $7.95 on it's sweet little ass. So yes, its finally out there, and if you look on page 5 you can read 'Enoch Tan' right under the heading Designers. Read it and weep suckers! Ya'll can bite my ass now, you hear... Why am I being so abusive? I have no reason to be. Maybe it cause of the blood, sweat and tears I shed for this piece of crap. Or maybe its the pent up frustration and contempt I have for all brakish fish... and their owners... I really have no idea. But I really shouldn't call it a piece of crap, I mean it is a major milestone in my short little career that I should be proud of...

I don't know anymore. I know nothing! It wasn't me, it was Colonel Mustard, in the study, with the dagger.

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